-The Bulls are breaking my heart. I've tried to support and be behind them, but they keep on letting me down. I know they're young and have had bad luck with injuries, but that's still no excuse for the way they've been playing. John Paxson (General Manager), I know you are reading this... Save this ship from sinking as soon as possible because there's no Leo or Celine Dion music to help you out.
-Because the Bulls have let me down, I've turned to somebody else for love and affection. And that somebody else is Bacon. Is there a better food out there than Bacon? If there is, please feel free to write back and let me know. I mean not only is the taste, mouth watering, but it goes great with anything. You can put it on sandwiches, salads, potatoes, pastas, pizza, soups, etc... I'll stop myself before I go into a Bubba Gump rant. But be on the look-out for a "Save the Date" in your mailboxes. I will be popping the question any day now to my Baconetta.
-Is it just me or are zoos overrated? I understand the appeal, it's free and fun to look at different animals, but it has way too many negatives. First of all, the whole darn place smells like feces. They're are way too many people, most of them extremely annoying. And then when you do get to actually see the animals, they're always passed out sleeping. I might as well stay at home, take a nap, and crap my pants. It would be the same experience without the annoying people.
-I recently had the pleasure of seeing "The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button". The real title should of been "The Curious Case Of Why Is This Movie So Long? It's not a bad film by any means, but not even close to the epic "Forrest Gump". (The same writer wrote both films.) My main question is, how was Brad Pitt able to still look hot as an 80-year-old toddler? Nobody else could've pulled that off.
-Sometimes I think I have a handle on my intelligence, but on this past New Year's Eve, I realized I'm really not the sharpest tool in the shed. We were playing Trivial Pursuit with another couple... (Yes I know crazy, wild night!) And I can't remember the exact question, but it was something along the lines of "What eastern religion is the main religion of Djibouti?" I was leaning towards Muslim or Buddhism and I think we went with Buddhism. The answer ended up being Islam. And my response was, "I thought Islam was a country". Which was then followed by blank stares and awkward silence. What people? I only have so much available space in this noggin. You can't hand rugged good looks and intelligence.
-I've recently joined a co-ed basketball league with my brother-in-law. Yes, I did just say co-ed. I've learned it always good to take baby steps in life. I haven't played full-court basketball in the last three years. Which is when I had my 31-point outburst. (You can read all about it in the "Air Douche" blog entry). The first game back might get a little ugly, given the amount of running involved. So if you never hear from me again, it was nice knowing all of you and I hope I've been able to somewhat entertain you in an awkward way.