Sunday, July 23, 2006

Douche meets "Entourage"

So this past week I was in LA for the Espys. For all you peeps who don't know what the Espys are, its basically a Espn Sports award show. It's like the Oscars or Grammys for Sports. I was able to get this trip through work. I won't get into the specifics, but basically my buddy/co-worker Johnny was offered this ESPN sponsored trip. And of course he was gracious enough to take me along for the ride. This is the same guy who has taken me to Milwaukee twice, Cleveland twice, Hartford/Boston, San Diego, and now LA. So I guess its fair to say I probably I owe my life to this dude.

Anyways, we arrive in LA Tuesday morning. A driver meets us at the airport, holding a sign with our names. How cool is that? I never thought I would be that guy with my name on a sign. I mean shit, who am I? Really just some schlub who works in the media industry. So we get to our hotel and decide to walk around LA for a little bit. Our driver suggested that we hit up "In and Out Burger." Given Johnny and myself's fat kid resume, we thought it was a fantastic idea. Before we left for grub, we had to check in with the ESPN people. So we talk to these ESPN representatives and they give us a run down of what's going for the next two days. And then they tell us to grab a pair of Ray-Ban sunglasses. Now this somewhat amusing, because Johnny was just mentioning how he forgot to bring his sunglasses and he was going to have to buy a pair. Then almost magically through the heavens, ESPN tells us to pick out a pair of Ray-Ban sunglasses, assuming worth $100. Since it was a bit of a walk to "In and Out" we took a cab down Sunset Blvd. Since we were so hungry and not sure where it was at. Our plan was to take a cab there and walk back. On the way in the cab we passed by all this cool stuff. One thing I saw was a film crew out on the street filming something. I was curious to see what they were filming, but given this was LA I figured it probably wasn't that big of a deal. And they were probably shooting some commercial or something. We get to the Burger joint and chow down on some Burger and Fries. The food was good, but not as great as everybody made it out to be.

After the feast, we decide to walk back down Sunset Blvd. We saw all these cool sites. Comedy Store, Laugh Factory, Viper Room, Directors Guild of America etc . . . Finally we came to the spot where they were filming. From across the street I could see a hot blonde. Again I did not think this was a big deal. Hot blondes are all over this friggin place. Then Johnny tells me he overheard they are shooting "Entourage." I was like, "Are you kidding me?" There wasn't even a huge crowd watching. And here in my first hour in LA, I bump into the filming of one of the biggest shows in the country. So I quickly waddle over and cross the street. I walk up as close as I can and nobody says a word to me. I guess security assumes that I'm part of the crew. Right away, I see Kevin Dillon. And I'm thinking this is amazing! Then, security asks me if I'm part of the crew. Stupidly, I say no. He tells me to wait behind this yellow taped line. I watch them film a scene and I see the rest of the cast. I'm thinking to myself, when else am I going to be a situation like this? I had to walk away with some type of evidence I was here. Either get a picture with one of the actors or shoot the shit with them. They end shooting one of their scenes and you can only walk by the set if you are trying to cross the street. So as I walk by there is some guy getting a pic with Kevin Dillon and Turtle is taking the picture. So right when I was ready to get to talk to him, the Director yells that they are going to start filming again and for everybody to leave. Strategically, I walk across the street. So that when they stop shooting again, I'll be able to walk past the set again. I know as you are reading this, you are probably thinking . . . "Man, this guy is acting a gay stalker little school girl, about these dudes." You know what, I don't give a shit, say what the hell you want. I was trying to make some history here. Anyways, they shoot the scene and take another break. This was probably my last chance to get a pic. Because if I keep on walking by the set back and forth, I'm sure security would get suspicious. So I walk past the set again and to my right I see Vincent and E sitting down smoking a cigarette. On the show, Vincent plays the movie star and E plays the best friend/manager. I really had no idea how they would react. In the back of my mind I was thinking, "These guys are going to totally tell me to screw off or we're too busy for a pic." I then walk up to them and say, "I'm really sorry to bother you guys, but is it cool if I just got a quick picture." E quickly gets up and is like, "Oh yeah sure, no problem." Seeing how E was cool with it, Vincent then gets up also. I could tell Vincent kind of did not want to, but felt he had to since E was willing. At this moment, I was like "Holy shit!" I had no idea it was going to be this easy. Just to think two days ago I was sitting in my underoos, scratching my ass, watching them on the Tele and here I am taking a pic with the two of them. So with E on the left, Vincent in the middle, and myself on the right we pose for a picture. Fortunately, Johnny was right there behind me to be able to take the picture. I think I said to Vincent before the picture, "Sorry, that I'm a little sweaty. It's so friggin hot." I could tell Vincent was thinking "Somebody get this friggin gross douche away from me." And thinking about it right now, I don't know why I had to tell him I was sweaty. Friggin awesome!

More from the Espys to come later.

I'm Out!

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Bulls Talk, Brooke Hogan, and "Little Man" Hype

-Let me just say I am extremely surprised that my Bulls were able to sign Ben Wallace. First of all, I didn't not think Paxson was interested in Wallace because of his age and the money that it would cost. Secondly, I never thought he would leave the Pistons for the Bulls. But he did and its friggin awesome. Wallace brings some much needed toughness and experience that the Bulls desperately needed. Now it looks like Tyson Chandler will be traded with that God awful contract. My sources tell me he will go to the Hornets for P.J. Brown. I think P.J. Brown will be a great addition because he is the ultimate professional and will be able to mentor Tyrus Thomas. Also, P.J. Brown's contract ends after next year, so that will give the Bulls cap space room to sing their core players who will be up from new contracts soon. As for the draft, I was not as happy as most people. I understand Tyrus Thomas has the potential to be a good player. But he's 6'8 and only weighs 220 pounds. We needed a center who could score down low. And Aldridge gave us that, but for whatever reason Paxson did not like him. But given Paxson's track record I will shut the hell up and trust him. Can't wait till next season!

Other random awkward thoughts . . .

-I've came to the realization that I cannot snap my fingers. If anybody would like to come and show me I would greatly appreciate it.

-At all costs try to stay away from the L and Wrigleyville during Cubs games. Believe me, it is in the best interest for you to stay away from those large crowds of bafoons.

-Read my Lips . . . Brooke Hogan will be the next biggest Pop Star in the world.

-If you are looking for a new funny show. Watch Comedy Central's new show "Dog Bites Man." It's from the same proudcer of the Ali G Show.

-If you think I am serious with the second to last comment I just made. Then please never read my blog again and make sure to get on the next L to Wrigleville on a Cubs game day.

-Rumor has it I will be making a trip out to LA for the ESPYS. I know most of you are thinking I will be accepting an award for my 31-point performance I had in a park district basketball game earlier this year. But that is not the reason. (For reference: Please read the Air Douche blog entry. )

-My favorite song right now. Snow Patrols; "Hands Wide Open."

-The person that I would like to punch in the face right now . . . Is young singer, John Mayer wannabe, bitch Teddy Geiger. Man that kid irritates me!

-I am looking forward to seeing "Superman Returns" for only one reason. To see Kevin Spacey play Lex Luthor.

-I already bought my tickets to see the Wayans Brothers new movie "Little Man." I don't know what all of you think, but that looks like a laugh riot! (Who is the mother-fu*ker that allows those non-talent clowns to make movies?)

-Does this ever happen to you? You are getting ready to go out somewhere (ex: bars, dinner, work etc.) In your head you are content with how you look, so you leave to go out. Then maybe an hour or two later you go to the bathroom and look in the mirror and "Good God, this is not how I thought I looked." Well this happens to me frequently and its a bit frustrating.

-Christine Auguilera is looking better and better these days.

-I'm Out!