Saturday, October 25, 2008

Beverly Hills Chihuahua, Segways, and Gary Busey

-May I just say, that there is no better feature on a computer than the "system restore" option. My God, I can't tell you how many times it has saved me. I love you system restore, I really do. FYI I did not get my last virus from pornographic sites.

-I don't understand why people are so lazy. When you are about to get on the L train, don't go on the first cart you see. That is going to be the most congested area of the train. Always walk down a few carts and then enter the train. Unless you are handicapped, in fear of missing the train, or, want to grind against a homeless guy that smells like vomit... Then yes, enter the train right away and have a hoot!

-To demonstrate my confusion on the amount of undecided voters out there, I will reference a quote from Humorist, David Sedaris on this issue. " To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”

-Speaking of the election and society. (Segway) I have so much faith that the American public will make the most educated and intelligent decision on this upcoming election. Given that "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" has grossed over $70 million dollars and was #1 in the box office its 1st two weeks. God help us.

-Speaking of Segways, (Another great segway) I actually did the Segway Chicago Tour. Let me just say, despite freezing my toochis off, I had a great time. And more importantly, I proved to the world that special and slow people can ride a segway without harming themselves or other people. In other words, I'm the Jackie Robinson of segways.

-I watched the first episode of Celebrity Rehab 2. (Yes, I am unemployed at the moment) And one of the participants or "mentors" on the show is Gary Busey. He could honestly be the most entertaining individual in the business right now. If studio executives, are reading this, which I know they are, he must be casted on every single television program and film right this minute.

-Speaking of reality shows, (Don't worry I won't give a segway shout-out) What the hell is the deal with that douchey chef Rocco? That guy is on every single television program. Who the hell is he and why is he on the my television screen? The only way he should be allowed on TV, is if he wrestles Gary Busey in a steel cage match. Now we're talking!

-Is it just me or has "The Office" been lackluster so far this season? It seems like they are going more for the emotion than comedy. But I will say a new show that I have enjoyed is "Worst Week" on CBS. My only question for that show is, couldn't they of found a better actor?

-I was enjoying Pink's new song "So What" until every single radio station started playing this song 100 times a day. Thank you radio, for killing another song. This is reminiscent of what happened to Nickleback's "Photograph" song.

-I can't believe I picked up QB Kyle Orton for my fantasy team. Who the heck would of thunk it?
-The best Halloween costume you can buy this year is ...

P.S. The doggie shirt does not come with it.

I'm Out!

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Run Sarah Palin Run... Far Away

-If you're looking to watch a nice light comedy on DVD. Rent "Run Fatboy Run." (And no its not my Bar Mitzvah Video. That was titled, "Read the Torah, Fatboy, Read the Torah."

-I don't know about you, but Joe Biden impressed the heck out of me Thursday Night. Sarah Joe Six-Pack, hockey mom, maverick, drill baby drill, Palin did not.

-How great is it that the Cubs got swept in 3 games? I mean this team pre-maturely celebrated everything. First, the great Eddie Vedder sings a song about them. Then they have a parade just for getting the playoffs. Man, can this team be any more obnoxious?

-I'm watching the latest season of the "Biggest Loser:Families" First of all they coud easily edit the show down to a half hour rather than two hours. And watching the host, Allison Sweeney, should be the next new sleeping pill prescribed by doctors. She's not bad looking, just put a muzzle on her.

-If you are looking for a tasty dish, order the Chorizo, Egg, and Rock Shrimp Breakfast Burrito at the "Bongo Room." You will thank me later.

-When did Jimmy Kimmel turn into such a great talk show host? He's going to be the next Letterman.

-How about those 3-2 Bears? Kyle Orton and that offense is a lot better than we expected. The division is there's to lose.

-I just finished reading the Rosie O'Donnel's latest book "Celebrity Detox." Don't ask why, but I read it. She mentioned in her book that she used to purposely break bones in her body when she was a kid. I wished she would've breaken more bones in her hands to prevent her from writing this book.

-We need to get rid of all these little restaurants/cafes with close seating. I can't stand it! The person next to me is always eavesdropping on my conversations. I mean don't get me wrong, I've eavesdropped on my fair share of conversations, but I always don't make eye contact. This woman the other day was staring into my eyes as she was eavesropping the whole time! I thought I was going to hear Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" playing in the background. People, next time you want to eavesdrop during my meal, at least offer me a bite of your entree. It's the least you can do for the free entertainment I offer.

I'm Out!