Sunday, December 25, 2005

An Awkward Start to the New Year.

Hello: Happy Hanukah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanza, and Happy New Year.

-I went to the same bar that I went to last year for New Years and I am very pleased to say that I did not get locked out of the bar because of trying to urinate outside and no calzones were stolen. (Awkward Reference: Read "Missing calzones, cleavage, locked out, and no taxis" blog. )

- I saw "Munich" the other day. I thought it was well done and a very interesting movie to see. I also had the pleasure of having free commentary by an 80-year-old couple through-out the whole movie. (Awkward Idea: How about instead of decreasing the ticket price for senior citizens we increase it.)

-Alright, the first time I saw the Trans-Siberian Orchestra commercial (the one with the Christmas lights on the house and the John Tesh sounding song. I thought it was cool. But by the 536th time the commerical tends to get a little annoying. (Awkward Question: Is the person who's in charge of putting this commercial on air non-stop, the same individual who is playing the Nickleback "Photograph" song on every single radio station?)

-I am proud to announce that I have successfully gotten my car back after the automatic garage door fiasco. (Awkward Hanukah Addition: I have now have Sirius Radio hooked up, so I am heavily anticipating January 9th!)

-I don't know why, but everytime "Meet the Barkers" (The Blink-182 Drummer Reality Show) is on MTV, I always watch it. It probably has to go down as one of the most pointless and boring shows in the history of television. (Awkward Pevert Idea: Have the the wife (Mrs. Barker) nude on camera at all times.)

-I am happy to see Comcast Sports replay all the White Sox play-off games. (Awkward Sox Fan Says: Cub fans still suck.)

-Speaking of my White Sox, what a job GM Kenny Williams has done this off-season. Instead of staying pat with the team that has just won the World Series he trades fo Jim Thome, Javier Vaquez, Rob Machoviak and re-signs Paul Kornerko and Jon Garland. (Awkward Apology: Mr. Kenny Williams, I apologize for all the mean and hurtful things I have said about you in the past. You are a extremely intellingent and talented baseball GM and thank you for what you have done for the White Sox organization.)

-Has our society gone crazy with the whole TV thing? There is no where I can go without seeing a friggin TV screen. I mean first I see one riding in a taxi cab, then I see one in the elevator, and then I saw one while I waiting in line at the grocery store. I mean, I'm all about watching TV, but don't you think this is a little excessive? (Awkward Suicide: Waiting in a crowded elevator, with the Trans-Siberian Orchestra commercial playing on the TV screen, and the Nickleback "Photograph" song playing.)

-It sure is nice to see Rex Grossman playing QB for the Bears. (Awkward Prediction: The Bears will not make the Super Bowl. Unfortunately.)

-I've come to the conclusion that Mexican is my favorite type of food. Awkward Fat Kid Favorite:Tostadas.)

-Even though the British version is way better, I've become a Fan of the TV show "The Office." (Awkward Peverted TV Dilemna: If "The Office was on the same time as "Meet the Barkers" with Mrs. Barker naked.)

I'm out!

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Cerebral Palsy, Enterprise Rentals, and Stuffing

-Jessica and Nick finally got divorced. Now I can finally make my move. (On Nick)

-The White Sox overspent for Paul Kornerko. 5 years/60 million? That's insane!

-Why do random people always choose to talk to me on the Train. Is there a sign on my back that reads "Please talk me, I like people"?

-I saw a commercial for the movie "The Kid and I," starring and written by Tom Arnold. The film is about a teenager with Cerebral Palsy, who gets the opportunity to star in an action movie. I'm confused, is Tom Arnold playing the kid?

-So, I have to rent a car from Enterprise because I wrecked my car after breaking my building's automatic garage door. (Previous Blog) So they give me a Big-ass Ford Expedition.(Thanks B.J.) And now that car does not fit into the parking garage. (I friggin give up!)

-I'm not too happy I missed Oprah on Letterman the other night.

-I hope nobody saw me on TV for the Chicago Thanksgiving Parade. I looked like a friggin fat idiot.

-I watched the Real World Reunion and I thought it was better than any of the season's episodes. How the hell did that pastey retard Wes get Johanna?

-Very disappointed in the movie "Ice Harvest."

-I watched my IU Hoosiers lose to #1 Duke the other night. And there is no question that they are talented, especially Killingsworth. So I have come to the conclusion, that I will fight anybody that says Mike Davis is a good coach.

-Stuffing is a such an underrated food. Why can we only eat it during Thanksgiving?

-If any radio D.J. is reading this blog, you got to stop playing Nickleback's "Photograph" I mean its enough already.

-Could somebody explain why the Bulls decided to give Tyson Chandler a max contract, when he has the Basketball IQ and offensive talent of Mike Tyson.

-Did you get the last comment? They both have the name Tyson. (Wow, am I good!)

-The day after Thanksgiving, I went to Circuit City at 7:30 a.m. because of a DVD sale. I think my Dork-o-meter just went up to a 9. (It only goes up to 10.)

I'm out!