Wednesday, February 16, 2005

A.C. Green, Annoying Fans, and Fatty Foods

The other night, I was fortunate enough to go the Bulls vs. Sacramento Kings game. It was a heck of a game and my tough Bulls got the win. Ben Gordon played phenomenally, by hitting clutch shot after clutch shot. What a pick Paxson!

One of the good things about sitting close to the team's bench, is that you get to see how professional players act during the game. The first four players on the bench watch the game closely. Knowing that at anytime their coach could throw them in the game. But as you gaze farther down the bench at the guys who don't get to play that much, they do not pay attention to the game at all. All they do is look in the audience to inform one another when they see a hot girl. Don't get me wrong, there were a lot of good looking women at the game. I myself, even did a few stare downs. But these players are extremely fortunate to be playing in the NBA for a living. So you would think for 2 and a half hours they could just watch their team play and not gawk at women the whole game. Man, where's A.C. Green when you need him? (Fun fact: A.C. Green, early 40's, a former NBA player who remained abstinent until he got married two years ago.)

When you sit behind the basket, the first ten rows are given these big cardboard signs that say "BRICK." You are too flash and wave these signs, whenever the opposing team shoots a free throw. Knowing how stupid I would feel holding this sign and realizing this has no effect on a professional nba player missig a free throw, I refuse to partake in this pointless act. But everybody else sitting around gets extremely into it. If its kids doing it, I totally understand. Kids are annoying. But these are 40-year-old grown men, shaking these signs like there is no tomorrow. People, I hate to break it you. But your stupid little "BRICK" sign will have no distraction on a NBA player making a free throw, when they probably shoot 100 of them on a daily basis. Yeah, I could totally see Peja Stojakovic who completes 92 percent of free throws telling his coach, "Sorry coach about the missed free throw. But this one guy in row G, seat 7 was shaking his "BRICK" sign so rapidly. I just could not stop staring at it." Friggin morons!

During time-outs at NBA games there is always some type of entertainment for the fans. Every game there is a Dunkin Doughnut race on the jumbo-tron. When you enter the stadium, you are given a card that either has a "1, 2, or 3" on it. Which ever number you get that is the doughnut that you are suppose to root for. If your doughnut wins the race, you supposedly get a free doughnut and coffee, or something like that. You would think they are giving away free steak and lobster at the best restaurant in Chiago. These people are screaming on top of their lungs, cheering for their stupid-ass doughnut to win the race. And again, these are not just kids we are talking about here. Also, during time-outs they got these guys running around shooting out these free-shirts. Depending on how loud you are screaming, they will shoot the t-shirt in your area. These same annoying fans are spazzing out, acting like monkeys all for a stinkin free t-shirt. You would think there was some type of gold wrapped inside of these t-shirts. I saw this 30 someting year-old guy, wrestling with a ten-year-old kid for this spectacular, once in a lifetime t-shirt. Geez, get a life!

Finally, one of the perks of going to a basketball game is the food. You really don't eat at a game if you are trying to diet. Between the nachos, hot dogs, pizza, beef sandwiches, and cheesburgers the fat kid alarm was naturally going off at an alarming rate. I chose to go with the "minnie burgers." Which are, three miniature cheeseburgers with a pickle on top. They were very scrumptious. Usually, I also get nachos too but fortunately the inner fat kid was taking a nap. And I had no intentions of waking him. I think these pro arenas are trying to making every single fan obese. Because if the Bulls score over 120 points and win, every fan gets a free Big Mac from McDonalds. Apparently, it is not enough if a fan chows down on a hot dog, nachos, pretzel, ice cream cone and a large coke. Add on to that a free doughnut from the pheneomenal dunkin doughnut race, if you are so fortunate to win. Heck, you would think the Bulls organization would give a free lipo after a night of eating like that.

I'm out!

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