Saturday, June 21, 2014

Meet Rico: My Wife's Emotional Friend

As you may or may not know, my wife does a great deal of traveling with her job. In the past year, she has visited places such as Puerto Rico, Costa Rico, Mexico, Bahamas and Turks and Caicos. A lot of people ask me, “Jonno, how come you never get to go with on the trips?”

That is a fair question, but the reason is because my wife is unfortunately only allowed to take one guest with her. And that person is of course Rico.

Meet Rico
The wife met Rico on her first trip when she went to the Dominican Republic. It's actually kind of an interesting story how they met.  My wife was getting a massage at the resort she was staying at and Rico was her masseuse. Despite Rico only knowing very little English, they hit it off right away. And apparently, he gives the BEST massages. My wife explains that Rico has extremely strong hands, yet at the same time they are soft like a baby gorilla. I don't know about you, but I can't wait to get a massage from Rico! 

His hands are so strong, his speedo is about to fall off! LOL!

Ever since that first trip Rico and my wife have kept in touch and became really close friends. So he accompanies her on all of the trips. My wife did tell me that if Rico can't go or if she's allowed to bring another person, that I would be her first choice. (Fingers crossed!) Also, my wife has assured me that there is no physical attraction whatsoever and Rico just provides her with emotional support. And after seeing the size of Rico's schnoz, I totally believe her. Hello big nose! Barbara Streisand called and wants her nose back! LOL!  

Now, I know some of you are thinking why doesn't my wife take me on her work trips instead of Rico. Here are a few reasons why she feels Rico is better a travel partner... 

  • Safety: I will admit that Rico is a muscular specimen and it's not really safe for a young woman to travel overseas by herself. So Rico sleeps with my wife at night to make sure no harm comes her way.  
  • Sun Protection: My wife has extremely porcelain skin and it's not good for her to be exposed to too much sun. Fortunately Rico always carries sunscreen on him and makes sure to rub suntan lotion all over my wife's body. And let me tell you, he does not a miss spot.   
  •  Photography: One of my wife's hobbies is photography. She loves taking photos wherever she goes and I want to encourage her to follow her passion. And given that Rico dabbles in speedo modeling, he is able to help add more to her portfolio. Below are a few pics my wife has taken of Rico. You can see she really is talented! 

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Some people may look at my wife's relationship with Rico as odd, but I just see the three of us as one happy family. The most important part of any relationship is trust and there is nobody I trust more in this world than my wife. I know she loves me and would never... Sorry guys, I gotta go... Apparently my wife needs to use the computer so she can do her nightly Skype with Rico. Those crazy kids sure like to have fun!      

Rico may have a sexy 6-pack, but I have a juicy and luscious 6-piece Chicken McNugget! 

 1. I was waiting for the elevator in the garage of my apartment building. The doors open up and this woman in her mid-to-late 40s sees me and screams at the top of her lungs. I wonder if this type of stuff ever happens to Rico? 

2. My birthday is not for a few weeks and I'm already concerned about the amount of Facebook attention I'm going to get.

3. I think the only way I'll be able to own a house in LA, is if my dry skin suddenly becomes worth money.

4. Mark my words... Thomas Middleditch (the lead guy on "Silicon Valley") will be one of the biggest comedy stars in 2-3 years. 

5. Thank God they are making a sequel to "The Purge" because the first film left so many unanswered questions. 
Such as... Why did this movie get made? 

6. I think this picture of "The Purge" is going to cause me to sleep with the light on tonight. 


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