Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Sleeping with Jonno

Lately, during my beauty sleep (picture me wearing a sleeping hat and footsies) I've been having some rather odd dreams. I am by no means a dream interpreter, but I gave it my best shot to make some sense of them and and of course to entertain my loyal readers.

The other night, I had this dream that I was traveling with Justin Timberlake. I don't know where we were going or why, but we were sharing a room together. It was by no means a sexual dream, but I was so excited to brag about hanging out with Justin Timberlake all to my family and friends. I do remember Justin not being very friendly to me, but I honestly couldn't care less because of his celebrity status. Awkward Dream Interpretation: Maybe I'm not as straight as I think I am.  

At work, my office is next to this one gentleman who I really don't care for. I don't have any specific reason for this, but I kind of just get that negative vibe from him. Anyway, I had a dream where I went into his office when he was not in there and proceeded to urinate all over his desk. I remember the peeing going on forever and wondering if it was ever going to stop.

Right as I finish urinating, the guy I don't care for and his associate walked into the office. For whatever reason I was shocked to see them and felt that I needed to explain why there was a massive puddle on his desk. So all I could think to say to them was "Sorry, I spilled." I don't know if that excuse made any sense because I still was holding my thingy and had it hanging out. Fortunately, the dream ended as they stared at me with blank expressions. But I'm not gonna lie, once I realized it was a dream I thought for sure I had wet my bed. For the record, that did not happen. Awkward Dream Interpretation: I really don't like that dude and should consider wearing a diaper when I sleep.

Most of you are aware that I have a secret obsession with food because of my inner fat kid. So in this one dream I had, I was shopping at Trader Joe's. I remember going through all the aisles and selecting certain items to toss in my basket. But the issue was that I could not find my turkey meatballs for the life of me. Now, I don't know if you've ever had Trader Joe's turkey meatballs, but they are pretty darn scrumptious, and I remember being extremely frustrated because I could not find the darn things! I even tried to ask some of the staff, but nobody had an answer for me.
Do not leave me again! You hear me? Never leave me again!

In addition to that dream, I also had one where I was ordering Taco Bell and was extremely confused by the menu. Apparently, they had changed the menu around and only had select items. Out all of all my dreams, this was easily the biggest nightmare. Awkward Dream Interpretation: I should win an award for managing to avoid obesity.

This last dream is a bit odd, so bear with me; at the same time, I think it could also make for an interesting movie. Anyway, apparently this one guy had brain cancer or some other type of deadly disease involving his brain. In order to live, he needed to kill me and take my brain. Now, I honestly feel sorry for anybody who wants to torture themself with my brain, because I lived with this thing for 30 years and let me tell ya it causes more harm than good. I don't think the guy ever did get to me, but I remember his entourage was after me. I also vaguely remember John Travolta being in the dream and trying to help me out. Regardless, when I woke up I was so freaked out and I don't think I could fall back asleep. Awkward Dream Interpretation: I should consider seeing a therapist and yeah I really need to get those diapers.


1 comment:

Robyn (aka Food Girl) said...

Very intriguing dreams Jonno - I'm sure a lot of them were scary, but I have to admit they make for some funny stories!