2011 MTV Twilight Awards

Awkward observations…

-I thought Jason Sudeikis did a decent job hosting, although I could have done without the Arnold jokes. Ladies , could you help me out with something? Is this guy that good looking to the point where’s he been able to bed January Jones, Jennifer Aniston and Scarlett Johansson? Or do girls just want to sleep with him because his uncle is Norm from “Cheers?”

-The cast from TWILIGHT must be doing the same type of shrooms together because they always give the most awkward acceptance speeches. Also, I think Taylor Lautner blew the MTV moon man because that would explain why they win every single award. We all know Team Jacob bats for the other team right?  

-Speaking of batting for the other team... The Foo Fighters and my man crush Dave Grohl tore the place down. Seriously people, you cannot tell me there is a better band out there than them. But I do agree O-Town is a close second though.  

-Speaking of boy bands... When Justin Timberlake groped Mila Kunis’ breasts, all I could picture was her longtime ex-beau, Macaulay Culkin, watching from home with his HOME ALONE face.

Hang in there buddy!

-I noticed that Gary Busey was seated right next to Steve-O. I wonder if that section was equivalent to the kiddie table at Thanksgiving?

-Jonno Fun Fact: The actor who played the boulder from 127 HOURS is a former Chicago improv teacher of mine. (I fully realize nobody else cares about this fact except for me) 

-Is it just me or has Steve Carell had a lot of work done since the first season of “The Office?” Specifically in the topical region?

Season 1 of "The Office"

Present

-I get the vibe from Emma Stone that she would be a cool chick to have a beer with. I also got the vibe from her duet with Jason Sudeikis that he banged her.

-I was not aware Patrick Dempsey was in TRANSFORMERS 3? He must be replacing Megan Fox’s role.

-If Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively ever had a child together, it should be kept locked up in a museum for the whole world to see.  

-Nicki Minaj... I have no idea what you do, but you have a nice rack.

-Speaking of nice racks... The little girl’s line from GROWN UPS “I wanna get chocolate wasted” was not funny in the movie and is still not funny.

-Why exactly was Chelsea Handler one of the presenters for the Reese Witherspoon award? Also, I didn’t realize she was the German bad guy from DIE HARD.

Bad guy from DIE HARD

Chelsea Handler

-Back to Gary Busey...  When he presented "The Best Movie Award" in a bubble it wasn’t for comedic effect, but more for security reasons.

-In Reese Witherspoon’s acceptance speech, she mentioned that you don’t need to break into Hollywood by making a sex tape. I wish she would have told me that before I filmed myself sleeping with Rob Kardashian. 

H.A.K.A.S.